Images of Arika Whitikar at Indian Canyon, Spokane - photos by Joanna Darlington
Carried by a Promise
reflections on a life transformed through yoga - by Satya
I've been thinking about promises and the power they have to transform. A few months ago I was at
Yasodhara Ashram and each of us wrote out a promise for the New Year. We threaded these onto lanterns
and released them into the night sky.
At first it looked like my group's lantern might not lift off, but then it did - it went straight up into the stars. How do I describe the feeling that came when we let go and something else took over? I felt like a child; it was pure joy.
During the time I was at the Ashram, Swami Radhananda's new memoir, Carried By a Promise, arrived. Seeing her open the first box and hold her book to her heart was another experience of pure joy. I knew I was in the presence of something very precious happening. I realize now I was witnessing the fulfillment of her promise to her guru.
What is the power of a promise? What does it mean to keep a promise? How can a promise transform a life? Reading Carried By a Promise has helped me think more deeply about these questions and about the promises I've made in my own life.
As I followed Swami Radhananda's journey from her first meeting with her teacher, Swami Radha, I began to understand how a heartfelt promise begins to take form- as a feeling, a longing of the heart. The first time Swami Radhananda met her guru, something inside her was touched. She was able to see past the physical appearance of a "well-dressed and kindly grandmother," to recognize that she was in the presence of someone extraordinary. She was "struck by the power behind her speech, and the simplicity of the teachings." As she listened, her heart began to "ache" and she found herself wanting to help. The seeds of love were planted in her heart and she began to nourish them. She made a decision to do one Divine Light Invocation a day, thinking, "what can I lose?"
Making the decision to do a practice and keeping the commitment started an inner and outer transformation. Swami Radhananda's life began to change. She started to question what was happening in her life. She discovered that she had been side stepping issues in her marriage. She began to look into the darkness as well as the light. In the midst of challenges with work, marriage, money, and depression the light began to sustain her. "Through my inner work and practices I am beginning to catch a glimpse in my heart that my life has meaning."
Over time that glimpse began to take root. A knowing in her heart took hold of her life. She took a stand in her marriage, went back to a university, was hired as a consultant in the field of education, and paid off her debts. She realized that the more she came to the Ashram, the more there was a real desire to make a spiritual commitment. Once she was able to stand on her own feet emotionally and financially, the doors opened for her to fulfill this desire-she moved to Yasodhara Ashram.
The transformational work began in earnest. Swami Radhananda described it as "going through the fire." Swami Radha wanted her to move into a leadership role at the Ashram, though there was opposition from residents who were leading at that time. Through all the challenges over the years her heart's desire grew to "an intense desire to help Swami Radha…I feel an intense desire to change myself, to place myself in the fire, to go beyond myself in order to live my purpose."
How can a promise transform a life? For Swami Radhananda it began with making a commitment to the Light. And this commitment deepened through her loyalty and love for Swami Radha. "My promise is to remember her. Remember her ways. Remember the involvement and inspiration. Remember the qualities and bring them to life. Learn from her unique approach, her unexpectedness, her ability to see the signs and look beyond to understanding." At the core of Swami Radhananda's promise is the love and devotion that she had for Swami Radha, her willingness to keep saying "yes" and surrender to the Light.
All of this is what I witnessed at the Ashram, when Swami Radhananda held her book to her heart. Swami Radha had asked her to go back through her diaries, to write about their time together, to extract the teachings. "Although I worked with her instructions at the time, it is only now-through reviewing the diaries-that I recognize more clearly what she was doing and what she was encouraging me to do. Compiling this memoir was like looking into a mirror and seeing who I am."
Every time I read Carried By a Promise something happens-I get a message about my own life. Swami Radhananda's honesty and clarity invite me to reflect about my own promises, challenges, and learning-and to see how the promises I've made at the deepest level are transforming who I am and are carrying me towards the Light.